to be or not to be....your friend.

I have been friends with the same people for roughly....my whole life. I mean on my two hands I can count my best friends. Sarah Felt, Staci Herr...those are the longest runners on my list...Heather Hooper (aka Head), Kate D, Lindsey Frost, Mary Fox, Dk, Lancatron and Noonie!

Over the course of 23 (almost 24) years, people have been added and people have come off the list. The question that has been on my mind is...What makes these people my friends?? Or better yet...what makes a friend?? Is it how much time we spend with these people? Or how often you talk to them?? Or how well they know you? I mean how do you know if they are worth the fight? I would like to think that no matter what I am willing to set time aside for anyone that would like to spend time with me, or even just wanna have a bbm conversation. Most of the people on my "list" have been there since kindergarten. How do you know when it is your time to let them go? How do you know that they have served their purpose in your life?? Or when is it time to realize that you guys have just grown too far apart??

For those of you who don't know me...I used to be a very angry and dark person. I had a lot of built up hate and anger towards people and things that had happened to me. I let that anger consume me. Honestly, it was who I was for such a long time I didn't really know how to let go. One day...the worst/best thing happened to me. My boyfriend said you are the most miserable person I know. You break people down and tear them apart. You take everyone down to your level which is just pure hate and anger. As you can imagine...that crushed me. Then I found God...and I know how corny it sounds but God took all that anger and made me realize that I had these things happen for a reason. That's when Sarah came in, and gave me this prayer, the Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; wisdom to know the difference; Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He didn this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen. I have realized that this prayer answers all those questions for me. If someone doesn't want to be my friend, this prayer answers it. If someone is holding onto anger, this prayer answers it. If I am doubting someone, this prayer says what I need to hear.

Whatever it is that I am doing with my life, my friends want what is best for me. They may have a different opinion on that sometimes, but at the end of the day they are my rock. They take my side when I think everyone is against me, they show me the way when my light goes out, and they give me love when my heart feels empty. I love every single one of my friends because of something different. None of them are the same. Yet at the same time, they all know exactly what I need all the time. I love you guys so much. No words could ever say exactly how I feel about you. I hope you all know that...